Thursday, June 29th, 2017.
For the past weeks my depression has been so bad that I haven’t been able to get much done. I have people constantly reminding me I have to this and that, and this… and some times that. While i’m over here panicking since I can’t get out of bed at a decent time, and after being up for less than 12 hours, i’m ready to escape my head again and go to sleep in a hope I’ll have motivation the next morning. Usually this doesn’t work very well- Today however, I felt a tiny change, and I actually managed to apply for a job finally.
Just one.. for now. It’s a start at least!
Tomorrow I’ve written a list of things to do. Usually I don’t get through it, but I always live in the hope! Today was a pretty goof day mentally, so I hope it will last for more than one day this time!
It’s too much pressure having to find a job, find a flatmate, find a new apartment while feeling like you’re not good enough and “no one” cares about you, so it gets even harder to reach out to people and apply to jobs.
I have managed to keep a healthy diet and exercise most days, which helps a lot! But considering I barely see people and barely leave my house (cause I live in SoCal WITHOUT A CAR), it has limited effect.
I have trouble keeping my mood up at the moment, but I still feel I might be on the right path to feeling a bit better and find new motivation soon. I need to find it quick, or I’ll end up having to go back home to Europe.
Tomorrow it’s therapy again, let’s make it a good session!
– Pius –